Music - Editorals Our Editorials are about the music scene in general in Minneapolis/St.Paul Top 10 | Editorials | Music Reviews | RadioTCNC Back to Music "Twin Cities Music Nuances" Archives by Dj Abstract 11/5/02 Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear…. I swear this is true. If you turn on MTV late at night (or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it), at say 3 or 4 a.m., you can actually see music videos. I kid you not, MTV stays true to its name…if only for an hour or two… For those who know me, you know I’m definitely not a big fan of MTV and it’s cultural influence on America. However, I might just change my mind on this, specifically because I saw the greatest TV show in the history of television on MTV the other day. Have you seen this show called “Dismissed?” Now, it’s the same as any other dating show (think “Elimidate,” “Fifth Wheel,” etc.). However, I gotta give credit to a dating show that does an all female episode, especially when the girls who are working to win the date at the end and making out with the main girl the whole time. Can we make this an entire series onto itself? Please? Have you seen those Wrangler ads that use CCR’s (Creedence Clearwater Revival) song “Fortunate Son?” I s’pose the people at Wrangler thought that the song would be a good one to connect Wrangler Jeans with patriotism and America. Ummm, hello? Do they know what the song is actually about? Think they even listened to the lyrics? The song was an anti-war/anti-government song written about how all the rich and famous people (and their families) were basically excused from fighting in the Vietnam War. Maybe the Wrangler people are using it to express their opinions about the possible war with Iraq (somehow I doubt that though). For those who know music, this could perhaps be the dumbest advertising decision ever. Nice try Wrangler. Speaking of dumb musical decisions, the Wrangler/Fortunate Son connection is almost as stupid as when President Reagan named Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” as the official state song of New Jersey (1984? 1986? Damn old memory of mine). Of course, President Reagan never listened to the lyrics about how poorly Vietnam vets were treated by the government (and society in general) when they returned. Otherwise, he might have made a wiser decision. On that note, Luther “Luke” Campbell’s “Banned in the U.S.A.,” a rap song using the same melody as the Springsteen classic previously mentioned, was used as an both an anti-government/pro-America song. Ironic how this all goes in circles…. Luther and the Crew Still Banned.... Ok, yeah, The Ring was a freaky movie. And for what it’s worth, the suspense was good. However, I’m torn between enjoying the twist at the end of the movie, just as you thought it was over, and being disgusted by how blatantly open they left the possibility of a sequel…. Does Eminem’s new movie prove that he has acting ability? Or does it mean that he can star in a movie as long as it’s about a white rapper trying to make it in a black musical scene? Does that story sound familiar…? Maybe I’m nuts, but I’ve never really found Madonna attractive. Even when I was young and she was doing “Lucky Star” and “Borderline,” she just didn’t do anything for me. Madonna Still not doing it for me... Ok, my own non-scientific study revealed the following about Twin Cities radio stations and “new” music. If you wanna hear new rap or R&B songs first, listen to 89.9 KMOJ (as opposed to B96). If you wanna hear new alternative or adult contemporary songs first, listen to 105.1/3/7, Drive 105 (as opposed to Cities 97). If you wanna hear the same crap over and over and over and over and…well, you get the point…listen to KS95 or KDWB. As for rock music…well, 93X is pretty much the only choice. There is no science to this study. Just something I have observed. Just a heads-up for those with digital cable (I know AT&T Broadband for sure). There’s a new channel added to the line-up called BBC America (Basically, it’s the British Broadcasting Company only here in America). One of the greatest shows out comes on there (gotta check local listings to know when). It’s called “Coupling.” Think “Friends” meets porn. Simply hilarious. Check it out. Coupling Although I’m not a huge fan of her music, J-Lo’s “Jenny from the Block” is just a hype jam. Oh, not because of her singing, but because of the Beatnut beat in the song (Does it get anymore classic than that beat?). Not to mention the fact that the “South Bronx” beat of the ol’ BDP kicked in at the end. And speaking of old school rap… A big Rest In Peace goes out to Jason “Jam Master Jay” Mizell, his family, and the rest of Run-DMC. Not to mention all of those he inspired. He will be sorely missed. “Two years ago, a friend of mine, asked me to say some MC rhymes…..” Jam Master Jay His legacy lives on... Long Time Coming (October 15th) For many of you who read my column, clubbing and dancing is a part of your life that you enjoy. The crowds, the music, the atmosphere we all have come accustomed to enjoying. But, if you’re like me, there’s always ways to improve the experience. Often times I go on thinking to myself “Geez, this place would be better if only…(fill in your own blank)” Wouldn’t it be great if most clubs had a set or rules? Ok, not rules, but guidelines to help make the club going experience the best it can be? I think you know where I’m going with this. A long time ago, before I reached that magical clubbing age of 21, some friends of mine and I sat at an all night restaurant (you know the ones I mean. Perkins, Waffle House, Flameburger, Denny’s, etc.) and thought that if we were to ever open a club, we would have some “house rules.” Well, we haven’t opened our own club yet, but for the first time ever; I’ve decided to write down the guidelines. The following is a set of guidelines (in no particular order) designed to make everyone happy and enjoy their clubbing experience. As you read through them, think about your favorite club and how much it would be improved if it simple enforced some of these… #1 – If you’re not dancing, get off the dance-floor. You know the guys. The ones that stand right in the center, all grouped together because they’re just TOO cool to dance. Instead, they stand there, looking around at women trying to pretend that they are God’s gift to them. When in reality, we all know why they don’t dance…they can’t. #2 – If you can’t dance, fake it. If you can’t fake it, get off the dance floor. Let’s face it, not everyone on the earth was born with a sense of rhythm (or never took the time to develop it) and an ability to move their body (think flexibility). However, people can at least attempt to make good at dancing. The point is to feel the music and move as you see fit. If you’re not even going to attempt to dance, please leave the floor so that others who want to move, can. #3 – If you can’t wear that, don’t. Yeah, I said it. And I’ll say it again. If you can’t wear that, don’t. Why do people feel the need to wear things that are fashionable when they can’t pull it off? Women, why do you feel the need to show skin all the time? Ok, as a guy, I really don’t mind, until I see a bigger girl in a butterfly shirt. Or a skinny girl in one of those shirts that are open back with only spaghetti strings tied in the back (then again, those shirts aren’t cool period). Please, this is not attractive. I know plenty of thicker girls who look outstanding because they dress with a bit of class and wear something that fits them (I hate it when thick girls think that if they wear something tight and show some skin that we men think it’s attractive). And skinny girls, you’re just as bad. If I can count your ribs, it’s not cool. Don’t get me wrong, skin is cool. Bare midriff to show off the navel ring or low-neck line to show a bit of cleavage is totally cool, if you can pull it off. Ok, yeah, I’m ripping into women, but guys, you’re just as bad. Wife-beaters? Are you serious? About 90% of the guys who wear only wife-beaters can’t pull it off. Wearing ‘em under your shirt is cool, but let’s leave them there. And look, taking your shirt off at the club only proves one thing, that you can’t get a girl with your mind or your dancing skills, so please, leave ‘em on for the rest of us. #4 – Leave the DJ alone. After a recent appearance to spin at a club downtown, I came to a conclusion…All DJ booths should be up in the air, away from easy access for the crowd. Clubs are not radio stations. If you wanna hear a particular song, listen to the radio or put in your favorite CD. Don’t bother the DJ by requesting a song. The DJ is there to keep the beat moving and to get the crowd dancing. If you don’t like the particular style or genre that is played at a club, don’t go there. If you don’t like a specific song, then leave the dance floor until it’s over. Otherwise, shut up and dance. However, girls please feel free to continue flirting with your favorite DJ (or guys, if it’s a female DJ). #5 – Drink off the dance floor. Now this one is one I’ll take some heat for, but it really does make sense. How many times have you had beer spilt on you? Or someone spilt their drink and got mad because you helped cause it, when all you were doing was dancing. It’s a dance floor people. Bodies are moving, occasional bumping will happen. If your drink is so precious, drink it at the bar and then come dance. And the spilled drinks, ice cubes and beer bottles on the floor go without saying. #6 – Be courteous and relax. This is a no-brainer. However, there are guys who go out specifically looking to cause trouble and start fights. If someone bumps you on the floor, it was an accident. Let it slide. As Chris Rock said “There’s no use going to jail because some smudged your Pumas.” #7 – People watch from a distance. How pathetic is it for guys to stand and stare up at the girls dancing on the platforms? It makes us guys look like a bunch of panting dogs (and we wonder where guys get a bad name). If you’re gonna people watch, or simply look at women, try and do it from a distance. It makes you look a lot less perverted. Otherwise, get some guts and get up there and dance with the girl. She ain’t gonna talk to you down there. Then again, for some, if not all, of those girls, that attention is what they crave, so maybe I shouldn’t make that a guideline. And on that subject; girls, if you’re not planning on going home with your girlfriend and having some fun with them (you know what I mean), making out with your girlfriend just for the attention makes you as pathetic as the guys who stare at you. #8 – Keep it moving. Clubs get crowded enough that it’s tough to move without people making it harder. When a line of people are moving around the dance-floor, or in another manner, please don’t stop to talk to the cute guy/girl you see standing on the side, or to converse with the person in front of you. Keep the line moving. If you need to talk to someone, stand to the side and let other through. If the dance-floor is overflowing, please feel free to dance anywhere you like, as long as you’re not in the way of others. Well, there you have it. 8 simple guidelines to help everyone enjoy their clubbing experience. Have a comment regarding this column? Or a suggestion for another rule? Or any other observation on life in general? Please send it to Abstract21@yahoo.com Random thoughts (September 2nd) Was I the only one who got extremely sick on the same 3 or 4 videos nominated for each category at the Video Music Awards? I think Eminem was nominated for every possible category. I’m surprised MTV didn’t find a way to nominate him for best rock video. And speaking of the VMA’s…. Just who the hell did P.Diddy think he was fooling with his lip-sync show? Who was the genius that thought up the idea of having 2 separate categories for rap and hip-hop? Was this just some kind of ploy to make sure Ja Rule got an award (after all, he’s got about 38 videos out this year, and every one had Ashanti in it…plus every video got nominated for this category)? I mean, they have an R&B category right? When are people going to learn that hiphop is a culture, not a genre? And just what is the Pop category? Isn’t everything MTV plays considered pop music? Someone help me out and explain this to me. Just for the record, Britney can come over and chill with me anytime she wants. No matter what she wears… What’s really sad is that despite a live performance by the Hives and the Vines, and an award won by Dashboard Confessional (the MTV2 Award), 99.9% of the audience who attended the VMA’s still have no idea who any of those bands are. Which also makes me think, with nominees such as Norah Jones, Musiq, the Hives, Nappy Roots, and the Strokes, shouldn’t the MTV2 award be renamed “The Decent Music and Excellent Artist as Opposed to the Same Old Crap” Award? You know, for a second there, I really thought that was Slash all jacked up. Then it occurred to me, he might have a little more self-respect than to show up on that stage, at that time… Ok, I’m sorry. I still don’t like Pink’s music, and now I don’t like her look either. I’m just not understanding her appeal. Does anyone remember the first VMA show? What was it? 1984? The best video award went to Peter Gabriel for “Sledgehammer.” The song was decent at best. But the video was extraordinary. And after all, shouldn’t that be the point? Yes the music matters, but it’s an award show for videos. They don’t give Oscars to actors just because of the actor, but because of his/her performance. But on to more ramblings… While out at a certain health club in Plymouth for work the other day, I noticed some of the rules on the glass doors leading into the gym. You know the ones, no street shoes, no profanity, members only…then the last rule. No guns. Yeah, that’s a good rule for all those suburban gun-toting people who have a membership to a health club. Made me feel extra safe. Ok, the best radio show in the MSP area is still “The Beatbox” on 770am, radio K (the University’s radio station). These guys know rap and always play the best. Too bad they’re only on for 2 hours a week. If you haven’t heard it, check ‘em out on Saturdays from Noon until 2pm (Brian Oake’s “Freedom Rock” on Cities 97 from 8pm until 10 on Sundays comes a close second). Speaking of The Beatbox, BK2, one of the original members of the Beatbox cast has his first self-made mix CD out called “For the Love of Music.” Word is it’s hype. Mmmmm…Beth Orton. Ok, the magic number this week was 42. That the number of times I asked myself, “How in the hell did you get a license?” while observing other drivers while I was on the road. VMA- Eminem VMA- P. Daddy VMA- Dashboard Confessional VMA- Pink 770am radio K "The Beatbox" Inspired by Common (formerly Common Sense), Face (formerly Scarface), The ‘liks (formerly the Alcoholiks), and N.O.R.E. (formerly Noreaga), I’m officially changing my name to “Stract.” Have an opinion, suggestion, or just some general observation regarding something you read here? Or music? Or just life in general? Send it to Abstract21@yahoo.com Random thoughts (august 13th) while watching the changes of Michael Jackson’s nose… Is it just me or should Rakim come out with something new more than every three years? His latest exploit, a cameo on the Truth Hurts single “Addictive,” was the first anyone had heard from him since 1999’s “The Master,” and it hardly features him the way an album would. Seems a shame to waste the talent of one of the greatest MC’s of all time…. After hearing the latest version hip-hop remix of an 80’s song, this time Tears for Fears’ “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” the conclusion should be that there are just somethings that are not meant to be remade… Ok, do you want to tell B96 that they are no longer “new” or should I? How long does a radio station have to be on the air or in its new format until it’s no longer considered new? And speaking of radio stations, and I can’t believe I’m going to actually write this, but my thanks to KDWB for proving me right and others wrong about Daniel Beddingfield’s “Gotta Get Thru This.” After it hit big time in Europe back in December of last year, I said it would have no problem getting air time in America. Several of my esteemed colleagues disagreed (you know who you are). Even I have a good call once in a while… A challenge for all of you; Try to see if you can listen to either of the previously named radio stations for 30 minutes without hearing a song with Ludacris or Ja Rule in it…yeah, I couldn’t do it either. Both artists have way overstayed their welcome. Mmmmm…Norah Jones. How long do you think it’ll take suburbanites to actually listen to the lyrics of John Mayer’s “No Such Thing” and realize that he’s actually ripping into them and, more or less, their lifestyle? Note to LL Cool J: Please don’t make us wait for over an hour in the blistering hot Quest for you to come out again. Loved the show, but a lot of us had no energy left for the whole thing. Psst, quietly Public Enemy has put out a new album that you don’t need to get online to buy (some of you might remember 1999’s “There’s a Poison Goin On,” which was available only through the internet). Word is that the new album is hot and definitely worth checking out. (By the way, where was I when P.E. fell off?) A big congrats to the recent, ok…fairly recent, marriage of Erykah Badu and my man Common (formerly known as Common Sense, and still one of the best rappers of all time). If there’s a better musical marriage, I haven’t heard it. Be ready, the next wave of European artists is on it’s way… Is there something wrong here? Why isn’t Musiq considered one of the top R&B artists today? Did I miss something? Both of his albums are indescribable, and I will not argue about this. Oh Anna Nicole…what the hell happened? Much love to my man R. Kelly, but if you wanted heaven to give you a hug, maybe you shouldn’t have been giving hugs to all those young ones… (Got an observation, comment or question regarding music, clubs, or life in general? Perhaps a reaction to this column or just something you can’t figure out? Email it. Abstract21@yahoo.com. All opinions are welcomed…)